Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. 
Following was the steps followed by him.

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selectedCUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified.

On the next Railway station the driver was caught: He was questioned how the incident happened.

He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc.

Then authorities questioned : Are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger. You should have overran that person.

The driver replied: “Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.”

A man went to several places to get one job in America. 
Once he got an interview card from Microsoft Office. He attended the interview and qualified for the post of the “Office Boy”. 

Then Microsoft Office people told him “Give us your email ID, we will send you “Appointment Letter”.

The man told I have no email ID. Microsoft Office people told “How funny, now-a-days is there any man without email ID? Sorry we can not give appointment to a back dated man.”

The poor guy with sorrow came out from the Microsoft Office and he had only 5 dollars with him, he saw one people is selling Tomatos. He bought Tomatos by 5 Dollar and sell them by walking door to door. He got 7 dollars. Then next day he again bought Tomatos by 7 dollars and sold them 10 Dollars.

Such a way he became millioniare and now he has now Orchard of Tomatos and big pick-up vans, storage etc. Now the man became one of the rich man of the country. Many Journalist came to interview him.
When they are filing up his biography, one journalist ask “Sir,may I get your Email ID.”

The man replied “I have no Email ID. As I have my email ID, I would be an “OFFICE BOY” of Microsoft office and you never ask my email ID !!

Letter to Mr.Bill Gates from Banta singh

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears. We face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.

I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

In an airport boarding area they announced that the flight was overbooked.

The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later.

About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.

About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter announced:

"If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward."

EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

A man sat in his attorney's office. 

"Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer said. 

"Give me the bad news first." 

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars." 

"That's the bad news?" asked the man incredulously. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news." 

"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."

Please Notice!!

You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice.

And, we have noticed that some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable.

It has been noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticeable. Therefore, this notice is to remind you to notice the notices and to respond to the notices because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.

>From the Notice Committee for Noticing Notices

Best excuses if you get caught sleeping in your computer desk by the Boss:

·  I was working smarter, not harder.

·  I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement.

·  This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!

·  I’m actually doing a “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan”(SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you (boss) made me attend.

·  This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!

·  I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?

·  The coffee machine is broke….

·  Ah, the this is the unique and unpredictable habits of the workaholic!

·  I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lenses without using my hands.

·  My work partnerwent psycho and took out a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.

·  And finally….I thought you (boss) were gone for the day……..!!!!!!

Q: What does a ghost eat for dessert?
A: I scream. (Ice cream)

Q: Where does a ghost mail his letters?
A: At the ghost office. (Post office)

Q: What did the ghost mail home while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards. (Post cards)

Q: What amusement park ride does a ghost like best?
A: The roller ghoster. (Roller coaster)

Q: What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
A: Hello, hello, hello.

Q: What's the difference between a ghost and a butcher?
A: One stays awake and the other weighs a steak.