When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don't do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing.
When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.

Are you qualified to be a professional 

The following quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional. 
The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think like a professional. 

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? 



The correct answer is: 
Open the refrigerator, 
put in the giraffe 
and close the door. 

This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in a complicated way. 

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2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? 




Incorrect answer: 
Open the refrigerator, 
put in the elephant 
and shut the refrigerator. 

Correct answer: 
Open the refrigerator, 
take out the giraffe, 
put in the elephant 
and close the door. 

This question tests your foresight. 

*********************************************** 

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. 
All the animals attend except one. 
Which animal does not attend? 



Correct answer: 
The elephant. 
The elephant is in the refrigerator! 

This tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking. 

OK, if you did not answer the last three questions correctly, this one 
may be your last chance to test your qualifications to be a 
professional. 

*************************************************** 

4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it? (You dont have a boat!) 




Correct Answer: 
Simply swim through it. 
All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting! 

This question tests your reasoning ability. 

·         The population of this country is 237 million.

·         104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.

·         There are 85 million in school,
which leave 48 million to do the work.

·         Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to do the work.

·         4 million are in the Armed Forces,
which leaves 15 million to do the work.

·         Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.

·         There are 188,000 in hospitals,
so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.

·         Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons.

·        

·         That leaves Just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And you’re just sitting there reading jokes all day!