A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"
Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "
Trainee: "Yes I do"

Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"

Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation
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In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures. 
In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.
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In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike. 
In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.
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During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal. 
During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.
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There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal. 
There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.
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Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign ... !!!"

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am", replied the man.
"How did you know?""Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."

The man below responded, "You must be in management.""I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.
You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep,
and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!"

Do you want to impress or confuse clients or Vice versa? Use Techno vocabulary. It can be called the“Buzzword” writing method. It is simple.
There are three columns of words involved, as follows:

Just select any three-digit number; then use the corresponding Buzzwords from the above grid, e.g., 257: “integrated modular capability“.
Don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense to you; it won’t mean anything to anyone else either, but they’ll think you’re just smarter than they are so they won’t say anything!!!

You can propose “systemized reciprocal options” (929) to achieve “optimal transitional flexibility” (568), so that we can think of an “integrated monitored projection”,
and then your boss will probably promote you or your customer will be blown away with your technological superiority…!!

"Cash,  check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As  she fumbled for her wallet , I  noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So,  do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No,"  she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and  I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him  legally."

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.

So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program.