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The Real Power behind the throne

9/28/2011

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One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious.
When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president's secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, why was he so interested in talking to you.
She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.
President Obama then said, "so if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant" , 
 
to which Michelle responded, "no, if I had married him, he would now be President" 
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Retired people - keeping busy

9/20/2011

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Working people frequently ask retired people what  they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out,there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man,how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.I called him a dumb ass.
He glared at me and startedwriting another ticket for having worn-out tyres.

So Mary called him a s..t head. 
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket.This went on for about 20 minutes..
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on itand went home.


We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.                                                 
It's important at our age.

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Magic shiny walls

9/20/2011

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A  Rural boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

The father, having never seen an elevator, responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
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Little Johnny School Report

9/3/2011

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Little Johnny asked his father, "Dad, can you write in the dark?"
His father said,  "I think so. What do you want me to write?"

Little Johnny replied, "Oh, just sign this report card for me..."

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Heaven's Pavements

9/2/2011

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There once was a rich man who was near death. He had so much wealth and was sad he had to leave it behind.
The man implores God to see if He might bend the rules.

The angel appears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.

Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven and greets St. Peter.
St. Peter checks with God and comes back saying, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through."

St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims,
"What You brought pavement?!!!"



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My Ancestors

9/2/2011

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Little Johnny  asked his mother " Mummy, have I descended from a monkey?
The mother replied " I don't know son, I never met your father's folks !"
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    Life is only lived once.!
    A good joke surely cheers one and all.
    Use this blog for clean Jokes for every occassion

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