One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious.
When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president's secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, why was he so interested in talking to you.
She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.
President Obama then said, "so if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant" , 
 
to which Michelle responded, "no, if I had married him, he would now be President" 

Working people frequently ask retired people what  they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out,there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man,how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.I called him a dumb ass.
He glared at me and startedwriting another ticket for having worn-out tyres.

So Mary called him a s..t head. 
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket.This went on for about 20 minutes..
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on itand went home.


We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.                                                 
It's important at our age.

Little Johnny asked his father, "Dad, can you write in the dark?"
His father said,  "I think so. What do you want me to write?"

Little Johnny replied, "Oh, just sign this report card for me..."