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Attentive MBA

1/31/2012

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A young MBA was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
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The Project Manager's lucky day

1/20/2012

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A project manager was out walking in the countryside one day when a frog called out to him. He bent down, picked up the  frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog poked its head out of his pocket and said, "Hey, if you kiss me I'll turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for a week as your mistress."

The project manager took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.The frog called out once more, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for as long as you wish and do absolutely anything that you want."

Again the Project manager took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and put it back.Finally, the frog demanded, "What's the matter? You can turn me back into a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for ever and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The project manager replied, "Understand, I'm a project manager. I simply don't have time for a girlfriend.
But a talking frog...that's cool."

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Management Gems!

1/13/2012

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A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" 
The crow answered: "Sure, why not?"
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Mgmt Lesson-#1
~~ To be sitting & doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,
"but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Mgmt Lesson-#2
~~ Bulls**t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Mgmt Lesson-#  3
~~
1) Not everyone who drops sh*t on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep sh*t, keep your mouth shut!~~
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Knowing your staff

1/5/2012

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On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the Company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.
He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"
The young man a little taken aback repiled "I earn Rs 8000/- a month Sir. Why?"


Without answering, the MD took out his briefcase and removed Rs 24,000/- cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!
Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,
"And that applies to everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I just fired?"
To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!"
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    Life is only lived once.!
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    Use this blog for clean Jokes for every occassion

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