A man went to face an interviewer.
Board of Directors asked him,
“Tell the difference between “COMPLETE” and “FINISH”.
The man replied, I am clarifying with the example, “When u marry a right person you are “Complete” and when you marry the wrong one you are “Finish”.
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one ?"
What is a computer's first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.
What does a baby computer call his father?
What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?
The space bar.
What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.
Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.
What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.
To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.
Computers are not intelligent.
They only think they are.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.
IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.
IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.
IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.
So why is it, again, that we work?